Photo on Ellachlor Talärn

05.01.2026 Mafia poker Photoset

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 00:00:01 +0000

Reason for delay

I’ve been trying to get this blog post together for almost a MONTH. Why? First, I kinda overestimated my ability to edit properly made group photos. When I’m solo, or when it’s not a real serious shoot, I can just make myself look the way I want and call it a job well done. Trying to balance everyone is a nightmare!😩

And then? Then I’ve got distracted by just released Arknights Endfield. The factory must grow y’know…

Well, I’ve decided to post what I have now. If I keep delaying to edit more group photos, I’ll just forget the details of the event. So let’s dive into day 2 of my recent trip to Moscow!🚄

Preparations

It all started as an idea between Sonya and I during my New Year trip. As a part of us scrambling to make the holidays interesting, I’ve suggested Sonya to make a photoshoot, and proposed a theme. Roaring twenties, but… edgy. A mafia-style poker night. She immediately fell in love with this concept.

I started planning the shoot and working on props and accessories, while Sonya helped with finds a suitable studio and searching for extras. And then we found our partners in crime. Lin and Ness. Unfortunately, Ness got really sick just before the holidays, but luckily Rizell was interested in participating as well, so we dragged them instead. Santgeo became our photographer.

…And that’s where my planning mode kicked in.

While we were all about capturing the vibe, not being historical purists, I couldn’t resist adding a few touches to make the set pop.

My apartment was quickly transformed into a temporary workshop. I had poker chips, cards, and the essential prop set already. But then, the real work began. My theme was “The Dame,” the mysterious femme fatale with a taste for the finer things. So, of course, that meant cigarettes.

Now, I don’t smoke. I’ve never smoked. But for the sake of a good aesthetic… anything goes! It was the first time I’d ever actually purchased a pack of Marlboro Red for myself. Walking out of that shop felt… illicit.

And that wasn’t enough.

I spent a whole day designing my own custom cigarette packaging, ‘cause modern packaging just ain’t gonna cut it! Redoing the original desing from scratch I couldn’t resist adding a small Easter Egg. Could you spot it? Will it even be visible on photos? Only time will tell…

Sonya’s role was ‘The Boss’ - a ruthless, cigar-smoking matriarch. We wanted cigars, but the available props wouldn’t be able to arrive in time. So I decided to make it from scratch. PVC pipes, craft paper aged with a touch of tea+coffee dye mix, and a touch of charred tea leaves for the butts. Are they realistic? No. Not even a little. But are they badass? Absolutely! And for an added layer of comedy, I’ve made a logo and crafted an import declaration slip for them. “Héroe enmascarado” branded cigars imported in from “Real Fábrica de Doces de Brinquedo” for “The Boss”. Sonya absolutely loved the detail, and during a photoshoot made a mini series of her opening the box.

I finished my look with a vintage cigarette case and a long ivory holder. Paired with my red dress and a thick, white faux-fur coat… well, I was less Makima and more Cruella De Vil, but you know what? It worked. It looked damn good.

The final touch? Making realistic-looking ash and cigarette butts for our photos. The smell… oh god, the smell. My apartment reeked of burnt tobacco for a solid week after. My partner still hasn’t forgiven me. Was it worth it? Yes. A million times yes. The aesthetic is everything.

The revolver

Now, for any cosplayer worth their salt, accessories are key. And let me tell you, my revolver was the crown jewel. A heavy, metallic piece of craftsmanship that looked scarily real. I loved it. But as it turns out, “scary real” is a huge problem when you’re trying to get on a train with it.

My heart was pounding. What if they took it away? What if I got arrested for carrying what they’d think is an illegal firearm? It didn’t had any documents or certificates saying that it wasn’t a real gun, so my concern was real. I even made a call to the hotline, but all they’ve said was “it’s not technically illegal, but since it looks like a real firearm, we can’t guarantee anything…”. Great, thanks!

In a fit of panic, I roped in my partner. “Come with me,” I said, my voice trembling with anxiety. “Just in case I need backup.” I stuffed the revolver and put in my check-in bag.

Walking towards security was pure torture. I held my breath. The officer took my bag. His face went from bored to intense. He stared at it, his eyes narrowing.

“I need to see the gun,” he said.

My blood ran cold. I took it out carefully, saying that it’s not a real gun, though it looks like one. It was a souvenir. It’s all I could say. He turned it over in his hand, inspecting it for what felt like an eternity. I was bracing for impact. Finally, he looked at me, then at the gun, then back at me. He just sighed. “Okay,” he grunted, handing it back.

I gave a sigh of relief.

In Moscow getting past metro security with it was the second challenge of the day. But showing it once more, with the same “it’s a souvenir, not a real thing” spiel, was enough. Phew. Safe passage secured. It was the most expensive, nerve-wracking prop I’ve ever acquired, and honestly? Worth every single second of anxiety. The photos with it turned out iconic.

Walking to the set

One more detail (Yeah, I know, I’m dragging this out, but I’m telling you, I’l forget if I won’t post, and this was funny as well)

The studio was 30 minutes away. So I’ve decided to just walk these. And, to save the time dressing up and not messing around, I’ve put on my hip pads beforehand. Under my casual clothes.

And OH MY GOD.

I suddenly felt… powerful. I was strutting. Like I was Frankie LaPenna, swaying my huge ass down the street. I giggled like dumbass all the way to the studio.

And I was also really, REALLY surprised my pants actually fit. Like, I was thinking the fly not to close, and be held only by the belt. It was… snug. Very snug. It was hilarious and a bit uncomfortable at the same time.

Start of the photoset

17:00 o’clock. On the dot. As usual, being early or exactly on time pays off. While everyone was still on route, I arrived first, and since I was the only model who showed up on time… I got the whole studio for myself for a solid hour!

Me, Santgeo, and my new friend, the camera. What a dream team. He was a pro, and he knew how to capture the magic.

We went wild. Solo portraits. Every angle. I owned that room.

The dress clung to my every curve, the furcoat screamed luxury and confidence. And the cigarette holder or a gun? Oh, that was my masterstroke. The final piece of the puzzle.

The whole experience was intoxicating. Standing there under those bright lights, posing, directing my own photos… I felt like a damn movie star. Unstoppable. Powerful.

It’s times like this that remind me why I love what I do. Now, to wait for everyone else to show up so we can start the real chaos. 🤗😉

Group photos

At about 18 the gang finally ready. And the real fun began. First up, giving the girls their moment in the spotlight.

Lin… well, Lin is a force of nature. A goblin unleashed. She grabbed the knife Rizell brought as a prop and swung it around like a madwoman, laughing and striking poses with a pure, unadulterated joy. It was hilarious.

Sonya… was a boss from the second she stepped foot in the room. All commanding and authoritative. This was the exact moment I pulled out the custom-made cigar box and watched her light up (figuratively and literally) with glee.

Rizell… Well, they were a bit shy since it was their first time in a studio. But, we haven’t forgotten about them. Just let them relax and breathe in the atmosphere.

And then… the group photos.

Oh, the group photos. We went straight for the dramatic shots. Me, Lin, Sonya and Riz all posed together, leaning on that grand chair, guns drawn, daggers held high. The lighting hit us perfectly. It looked less like a cosplay shoot and more like we were shooting the cover art for some dark, neo-noir film. Poster-perfect. The vibes were unreal.

But then we tried to play poker. Oh, god. We tried to play poker.

The idea was simple, but the execution was pure, uncut chaos. In hindsight, I should’ve had a proper scenario written down. Like, who’s the winner, who’s the cheater?

Instead, it devolved into Lin somehow winning everything. Sonya accused her of cheating, and next thing you know, we’re in the middle of a tense standoff. Lin just swept every single chip off the table and declared herself the winner. It was a mess.

But hey, that’s life, right? Sometimes you have to just let the chaos happen.

Some of the individual shots came out great, though! Really great, actually. When I get my shit together and actually edit them, you’ll see. Just give me a few more months, or nag others. Maybe they’ll post the pics as well.

Last ideas

We still had an hour. Time to improvise and find something interesting. The initial theme was pretty much exhausted.

Then Rizell, after watching our poker game unfold, decided to step in for their solo shot. And what a choice they made. Lying back in the grand chair like a king in exile. They held a bottle of Jack Daniel’s in one hand, the pistol they brought along in the other. It was perfect. Dark, moody, and so, so cool. A character piece right there. They owned that chair.

Lin, being the goblin she is, wanted more. So we crammed her into a large prop chest. “Like a coffin!” someone said. And we ran with it. We got some photos of her looking like she’d just been assassinated by Rizell and unceremoniously stuffed inside. Morbid? Sure. Fun? You bet your ass it was.

Final thoughts

Even though the “poker game” part of the shoot was a chaotic disaster, this whole photoset ended up being an incredible success. The pictures are gold. We got some truly iconic shots. We created a memory that’s going to last for years. I can already picture it.

Most importantly? It’s a lesson learned. Next time, I’m coming with a full script. A binder. A clipboard. We’re doing it right.

But for now… this is enough. This is a great foundation.

And guess what? I’m already planning another shoot. A properly staged one. The theme is still a secret. A surprise. For now, go enjoy these pics. The best is yet to come.

Durka

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Healing is mandatory.

The straightjacket is for your own good. your pulse… a little fast, are we? I like that. Temperature… well, we’ll fix that.

As for the syringe? This is my favorite part of the procedure. It might make you feel a little funny. But it alwa ys helps.

It’s for y o ur own good, I swear. Trust me.

I’m the nurse. aReN’T i?

10.01.2026 Last stroll during 2026 New Year Holidays

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 00:00:01 +0000

Catching up with the New Year 2026 at Saint-Petersburg.

With my holiday trip to Moscow I nearly missed the celebrations at Saint-Petersburg! And, luckily for me, there is an Old New Year that will be my excuse to tell you all about my quick walk there!😁

I pulled out Hikarinaka and StarryWolf to take a short trip to the Rostral Columns at Vasilyevsky island. We planned to meet up at Sportivnaya metro-station and take a walk from, there.

Everything went awry from the very beginning! I wanted to take Shimakaze for her first outside adventure. Big mistake! She has very small slits for vision (I know I still haven’t written a post about her! I’ll do this, eventually! Pinky promise!). For some reason right after I walked outside, the right eye shifted upwards slightly and covered the slit, so I left with only one tiny hole to see what the hell is going on around me. Add strong winter winds ruffling my hair before my face, and my trip to the closes metro-station was done basically blind and by memory alone!🙈 Honestly, I was this close to call quits and turn around.😣 But, after going inside the station and adjusting the eye a bit, I was able to see somewhat properly. Wolfie was the real MVP of this trip, holding me all the time so that I can navigate the world around me.🥇❤️

The second hit was quite unexpected. For some reason we opted out to walk from Admiralteyskaya metro-station instead. And you know what this meant? Right! A massive fucking crowd!😱 How we got out of it? I have no idea! It was a blur! Hika went forward, Wolfie pulled me behind them, I just moved my feet and held their hand like my life depended on it! It was pure chaos!😨

Finally, we stumbled into Aleksandrovsky garden. And oh, what a difference a night makes!🎇 I’ve been here just about a month ago, with all the decorations already present, but during the day. During the day the garden was quiet and empty.

Aleksandrovsky garden at night

Now, it was magical.✨

All those shimmering lights and garlands that I saw during the day, came to life, casting long shadows and painting everything in shades of gold, blue, and green. We spent about 20 minutes there, posing amongst the glitter. Of course, the moment I tried to get a decent picture, a horde of kids would rush past me, their parents chasing after them, nearly trampling us in the process. One kid literally tried to steal my glove! Usually I don’t mind kids being curious, but there is a limit. And stealing is it.🤬

Crossing the Dvortsovy bridge

After this, we moved towards the Vasilyevsky island through the Dvortsovy bridge. The wind… dear lord, the wind was just freezing cold!🥶 I really overestimated the thickness of my clothes! Though, to have an excuse, I wasn’t planning to walk across Neva-river! It was beautiful though, seeing the light decorations from both sides of the bridge, with the dark water of the Neva below.

Reaching Vasilyevsky, we finally saw the main attraction: the Rostral Columns. And right next to them, a giant Christmas tree.🎄 It was a classic Saint-Petersburg sight – all decked out with lights, standing tall against the dark winter sky.

Vasilyevsky island and Appulse

But the real treasure was the art exhibition right there on the plaza: “Appulse”. Or as we call it: “Parade of planets”.🌍

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Imagine walking through a mini-solar system. Massive, spherical structures representing planets, lit up from the inside. People were everywhere, laughing and posing. We had to get in on it. By the way, just look at those realistic “ice caps” on the poles! Me being an astronomy nerd (who knew?), I pointed it out.🧊

And Hika insisted that this big, blue, striped planet was Uranus. It was Neptune, Hika! Neptune!😏

Then there was the Sun. A brilliant red and yellow orb. For some reason my hair went wild in that shot, blown straight back from my face. Must be solar wind!☀️💨

Next stop was Earth. I had to try lifting the whole thing. “This whole planet is now MINE!” I declared. “Behold, your new kigu overlord!".😈 Of course it was too heavy for me, so I fell onto the snow below me with a comical plop! Wolfie had to help me up, laughing his ass off. The picture turned out to be hilarious. I love it!😅

We ended our planetary adventure by the Christmas tree, of course. Had to make a proper one, even though the holidays are almost over. A final pose under the lights to end a night of pure, chaotic fun. It was cold, it was windy, it was full of people, and it was perfect. 🤗

2026 is officially underway, and this walk? It was just the beginning. There are a thousand more streets to explore, a million more stories waiting to be told.

Let’s go find them.

And you, you’re invited. Keep watching my blog. More walks are coming soon.

04.01.2026 Party at sauna

Sat, 10 Jan 2026 00:00:01 +0000

Day 1 of January 2026 Moscow Trip

As always, Russian kigs get together during the New Year Holidays.🎄❄️

This year, we wanted to rent a cottage, like the previous time. But November meetup left us all mostly broke, so we decided to save money on a cottage and spend it on… other things.

Right after my arrival we went to the sauna complex. (A small note to myself: NEVER take a double-decker overnight train. It was horrible!)

The photos looked promising: a large pool (main attraction), stripper pole with a scene, billiard table and a small Finnish style sauna. The owner was a nice old man who gave us a short tour. I asked him about dressing room with a big bed and a padded table that was clearly made for sexual activities. But all he said that we probably won’t need the bed and that the table was owned by other people, asking us not to touch it. Bo-ri-ng~!😏

But anyway, I quickly changed up into my reverse-bunnysuit and jumped onto the stripped scene. And… The pole was not moving! Everyone is lying to me! Oh well, it was still a nice scene to take pictures at. I tried doing a few moves alongside with Alisa and Tamara. But with my hand slipping down and the pole being fixed, it looked a lot worse than I anticipated…😢

Next one was the billiards. I have absolutely zero skill with a cue. I don’t understand how you need to hit a ball to send another ball into the pocket. So instead of trying, I’ve just leaned over the table with a provocative pose and took some pictures. Morris, on the other hand, is a true pro. Ask them for the pictures if you want. I doubt they’ll share, but trust me, those were hilarious!

My first dip

Alright, let’s get wet.💦

After our little session with the useless pole, it was time for the main event: the pool.

I peeled out of the bunny suit and put on my swimsuit. And a lifebuoy. Not that I needed one - I can swim, thank you very much. But a girl’s got to accessorize. And it looked damn cute floating next to me in the water, so… bonus points.

Stepping into that water… brrrr. It was COLD!🥶

The kind of cold that feels like a million tiny needles pricking at your skin. The shallow depth was a blessing in disguise – I could stand, but the water level was high enough to cover most of me. The key was movement. If you stood still, you froze solid in seconds. So we moved.

Miller and Raf were already in the pool. My two favorite latex playthings, wriggling and squirming. They’re the masters of this environment, and it was a joy to watch them. Alisa joined us, of course, always up for a splash. We had a proper pool party. Photos were snapped, splashes were made, and the cold was temporarily forgotten.

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I’m a BOAT!🚢

It was a blast, but eventually the chill became unbearable. I moved on to the sauna. A Finnish one. A place to sweat and warm up bones that had frozen solid in that Arctic lake.

The sauna

And the sauna? A whole different level.🔥🔥

My phone immediately overheated, so forgive the crappy quality on these pics and vids. Just a few snaps where I tried to show off the thermostat - 80°C, baby. A sauna is supposed to be hot, but this was… intense.🥵

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I was genuinely worried. What happens to plastic when you bake it at this temperature? Will my hada be alright? Spoiler alert: it all held up. No meltdowns, no deformation. Phew. My mask is more durable than I give it credit for!

But the one part of me that couldn’t handle it was my lips. So sensitive. The hot, dry air just… attacked them. They’re a little chapped and sore now. Live and learn.

Overall? The sauna was the cherry on top of an already fantastic day. A little heat to warm up the bones, followed by a plunge back into the cold. It doesn’t get much better than that.

A great start to 2026. And it’s just a first day of a four day trip! What else is in store? Let’s find out together. 😉

13.12.2025 Stroll through the Saint-Petersburg

Sun, 28 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000

First post about my occasional public outings. Not sure about the format yet, but hey, need to start somewhere! I’ll write about a trip I had few weeks ago. A walk around Saint-Petersburg during a rare winter sun. Let me tell you about it.

Saint-Petersburg in a Winter’s Light

The city woke up under a strange spell. Sun, for a change. In Saint-Petersburg, that’s like winning the lottery. The usual grey blanket was gone, replaced by a warm, golden glow. And for a girl like me, who lives her life mostly behind closed doors… that was a sign.

So, I slipped into my freshly made black velvet dress, because I am nothing if not classic.🖤 A beret to hide my ears.👒 And a pair of comfy boots that can handle any amount of slush.👠 Perfect for a stroll when you want to feel elegant and beautiful, but to attract too much attention.💅

In hindsight, it was not the wisest decision on my part. When taking photos, it was either me too dark, or everything else too bright. And the videos… ugh. My phone is a potato, okay! I’m planning to improve it soon, but for now… I won’t complain! It’s a memory.

My journey began from Admiralteyskaya metro station, near the start of Nevsky Prospekt. I was going to go through the Aleksandrovsky garden, past the Admiralty, and towards the Bronze Horseman. But, seeing that there was not a lot of people on the streets, I decided to visit Palace Square. I already visited it in kigu during the night, but in a broad daylight it is a totally different beast.

And it was breathtaking.💎

Palace Square was in lazy preparations for the upcoming holidays and was not fenced out yet (lucky!). Workers were installing city’s main Christmas Tree. It was hard to see it at that moment, but I’ve heard it looked like total trash! And that’s after the fact that St. Pete spent like 3 times the money on New Year decorations than Moscow! Yep, let’s not talk about it.🥲

Admiralty and Bronze Horseman

Returning back on track, it was actually the first time I went to the Aleksandrovsky garden at all! Well, at least by my own volition. It is a very pleasant place. Nice pathways, lots of fountains (turned off, by embellished with lights and decorations). Very clean, actually, for such a tourist spot. And the Admiralty! I’m not a navy nerd by any means, but all my life I was associated with navy, one way or another. It feels like home, somehow. 🥺

At the gates a couple of soldiers (?) were moving boxes around. We’ve got cute little exchange when they waved to me. I just waved back at them, but I’m sure they received at least a little bit of a surprise seeing a doll walking through the garden!😄

Next was the Bronze Horseman. A must-visit for every tourist. A symbol of the city, and for me… well, let’s say it holds a certain power. Standing before it, you feel the weight of history. The strength, the endurance, the stubborn will of this city. It’s a monument to a man who built his city with iron will and sacrificed everything for it.

Despite being in the middle of the city, it’s kind of tucked away from the tourists walking streets. You have this grand statue, this powerful figure, and just… childrens playground behind it. It’s so bizarre! But so cool. It feels like it’s guarding the city not from enemies, but from the chaos of daily life. I took my time, stood there, and just soaked it in. It’s a place that deserves silence, respect, and maybe a little bit of admiration. A piece of history standing firm against the tide.🫡

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Isaakievskiy Cathedral and Plaza

And from the Bronze Horseman, the path continued towards another monumental landmark: Isaakievskiy Cathedral. Or, as the locals call it, “Isaki”. The main plaza in front of it was turned into a magical wonderland for the upcoming New Year festivities.

Let me tell you, they are putting in a LOT of effort.😊

The plaza was a forest of glitter and green. Giant Christmas trees, their branches heavy with lights and tinsel. There were shimmering arches, light poles wrapped in sparkling decorations, and other fancy stuff. I walked around the main square, just admiring the spectacle. It was quiet, too. Mostly families were there, so it felt more peaceful and less… crowded. It was fun to see the city decked out for a holiday that isn’t really mine, but I can certainly appreciate the artistry of it all! The sheer volume of decoration is staggering.🎄

In the middle of this festive chaos stands the statue of Nikolay I, on his horse, facing the canal. He looks stoic and powerful, watching over everything.

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Lesser streets

My initial plan was to head to the Mariinsky Theatre. I love the look of that building, and the idea of wandering the streets around it was enticing. But… I have to admit it. While I really like the looks of my dress, it is actually quite heavy, and my shoulders a started to get sore. Also, those velvet shoes, while pretty, aren’t exactly designed for hours of walking. They are more for standing around looking pretty, you see. My feet started to protest.😫

And honestly? The stroll itself was already enough. It wasn’t a race. It was a leisurely walk on a beautiful, rare day. I had no rush to be anywhere, and the city was just giving me one beautiful scene after another. Why ruin a perfect day by forcing it?😌

So, I turned around and made my way toward the Sennaya Ploshchad metro station. On my way, I passed the Griboyedov Canal. The water was a deep, dark blue, reflecting the winter sky and the city’s architecture. It’s always a sight. And I also saw a horse-drawn carriage slowly passing me on the street like it a norm. Because in this city it is! And navigating throught the narrow alleys and side-streets of Saint-Pete, it feels like traveling back in time. It is truly magnificent!🖤

I ended up stopping by the canalside to film the reflections. It’s a simple thing, but sometimes the best shots are the ones you least expect.

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By the time I reached the station, I was pleasantly exhausted. The whole trip felt like a dream. A rare moment of sunshine in the dead of winter, a city transformed into a storybook scene, and all of it, just for me. It wasn’t a grand adventure. It wasn’t about seeing every single attraction. It was just… a perfect, sunny winter day in one of the world’s most beautiful cities. And it was mine. I’ll definitely do it again sometimes. Hopefully during the holidays. I wanna see all the New Year lights shine together. That would be something special to behold! ✨

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20-21.12.2025 Kigurumi Weekend Report

Thu, 25 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Day One: Meetings & Mask Mishaps

Oh boy. Did we ever needed that weekend.

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Two full days with my chosen family of freaks - Hikarinaka, Alisa Tutchena, Starrywolf, and our newest addition, Saddy - and honestly? My spirit needed a refill of pure oxygen and a solid twelve-hour nap. 🧪

There were costumes. Confessions. Confusion. And enough caffeine-fueled energy to power half the city grid.

Mostly though… there was joy. Pure, unadulterated, chaotic joy.

Let me introduce you to our latest recruit…

…Saddy.

Alisa pulled them over from Moscow, saying they would be glad to come over if we can chip in an outfit for them. And so we did! Hika brought a guest mask, Alisa provided hada and paddings, we all brought some clothes for them…

Just look at them! All dolled up and ready to be played with!😈 Exactly what we did a bit later.😉

As for me, I’ve had some great new of my own.

First of all, I introduced my new kigu mask of Shimakaze from Kantai Collection!

I’ll write more about the making process in a separate post later, but the main point here is… I love it! It went out much better than I expected it to be, is adequately comfortable and all the spotted negatives are minor and can be rectified later.

Damn I love how this uniform looks with this mask! Much better than with Makima. A great mix of cute and sexy, cool and silly.😄

I also pulled out my PVC paws from that Miku set. I think they fit quite nicely with this uniform. Did you know that they can used as a bondage? If you lock up all the zippers, it’ll be really hard to take these off. Yeah, I used this excuse to not help with moving stuff and taking photos. Hehe~

Everyone got into PVC, (aside from Wolfie, they brought latex), and we took some to to appreciate each other. It felt amazing. The smell of plastic in the room, the sound of crinkling rubber, the sight of shiny bodies everywhere… Perfection.💎

Later I changed into something more comfy, allowing Hika to try out Miku set. The catsuit itself is just a tad bit short for me and them to comfortably wear, but they decided to persevere.💪

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This sweater is also a treasure I found recently. So cozy and soft! Alisa changed up too so we could both rest up and relax.😌 Hika became our sealed up toy, which we all played with for some time.

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It’s so fucking hot to touch them while the stiff plastic bag hugs their body and face like this!😚💘

Starrywolf, bless their heart, was busy filming us non-stop. It was hilarious watching ourselves lose track of time completely.

Later, Hika tried walking around the apartment. This looked really silly, but we’ve managed to get them into the shower. (Dunno why we did this. They were sealed and nothing happened of course.)

The first day was rather short since we took time to arrive, chat and get ready, so that’s basically where it ended.

Day Two: Power Plays & Pretty Dresses

Day two began early for me. While others went out to do their private business, I came in, kicked off my shoes and immediately snatched Hikarinaka away.

“Photographer duties,” I declared, pointing my finger directly at them.

They didn’t protest much.😊

First up, I wanted to try out my Femme Fatale vibe for an upcoming photoshoot I’m planning. Yes, I’m serious about this one.

I slid into my new creation - a long, red silky gown with a deep V-cut that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination and finishes with deep cutout at my hips. Over this masterpiece, I threw on a thick, plush white faux-fur coat. Picture it: classic, dangerous seduction. A ghost of the Roaring Twenties given a modern twist. 🥂

We spent about half an hour just messing around, finding poses and getting the lighting right. Hika, bless them, knows their angles. They captured my essence perfectly – a perfect balance between cool dominance and raw sexuality.

Next up, another experiment. My decade-old KC Shimakaze cosplay. A relic, dusted off and dragged into the light once again.

Did it still fit? - Yes. Was it comfortable? - Surprisingly, yes, but a bit stiff on my chest.

Where’s the goddamned tie?! - Who cares!? The uniform looks incredible! Cute, sexy, perfect for being silly.✨ Expect me doing a lot of stuff with this outfit later!🫡

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Try cramming a 3300 ton ship inside this tiny lavatory! 🤣

Afterwards, everyone arrived back to the apartment, and so we gave PVC another go-round. Makima wearing a tight PVC dress, walking around with her chest spilling out, grabbing everyone around by their necks, disciplining unruly pets with a cane… Classic at this point. 🖤👠

Starrywolf was wearing a respirator under his mask, with breathing tubes sticking out for better ventilation. Or some breathplay. 💋

The way their body jerked when they tried to inhale the air that simply wasn’t there. The way moaned for my mercy. Beautiful… 🫦

Then, one more change-up of the night.

Cozy time with Alisa. Matching outfits. Nothing major, just quiet conversation and resting. Sometimes, this is the most intimate activity possible. Being close to someone without having to perform.

And finally… The last activity.

Alisa had a bondage sleeping back for quite some time already, but it always eluded me. Either she forgets it, or we don’t have time, or I’m not in the mood…

But this time, I was.

Saddy had brought a Furrjoi puppy hood, which I know is pretty comfy, but also blocks all sight. I’ve put on my noise-cancelling headphones with some self-hypnosis audio to keep me company, and slid into the sack. They tied me up and so, for about 2 hours I’ve became a decoration.

These jerks shoved cucumber into my mouth! 😤

It went… Okay, I guess. The first hour was very relaxing, and I felt myself slipping out of consciousness, but occasional touches and lound noises pulled me back in. And after about an hour the bondage started to become uncomfortable. Pressure points. Unability to change position. The feeling of being trapped.

So, we stopped. It wasn’t a disaster, and it definitely wasn’t a complete success either. More like a learning experience. Perhaps next time I’d change a few things around. Use a less restrictive harness maybe.

All in all, it was a productive weekend. Lots of memories made. Lots of photos taken. And lots of ideas swirling around in my head for future projects.

Hope you enjoyed reading this ramble as much as I enjoyed reliving it. ✨

Photos and videos will be added later. It’s crunch time!

2025: The Year of Reclaiming Myself

Welcome, you lucky souls, to the end of another year. And what a year it was.

2024 was the year of birth. The year I took my first breaths, stepped onto the stage, and declared, “Here I am!”. It was messy, it was loud, and it was absolutely perfect.

2025? 2025 was the year I learned to walk on my own two legs.

I’ll spare you the boring details of what kicked the year off. Let’s just say the first few months were… clouded. Reality hit hard, and my little plastic world was tested. All I’ll say is that for a while there, the idea of zipping myself up into a suit felt more like a burden than a pleasure.

One such time was during the New Year holidays in January. A massive meetup in Moscow, organized by our friends in the capital. Everyone was thrilled to gather up. The largest Russian kigu gathering! Imagine that! Hika was buzzing with energy, Alisa was planning a million costumes… Everyone was so happy.

And I was just… there. Trapped in a haze. My personal problems were still weighing on me heavily, and the joy I usually felt in these settings was muffled. It was a strange feeling, being surrounded by so much light and happiness and feeling like you’re under water. I pushed through. I danced, I interacted with others, I talked to the new people. It was fun. But it wasn’t… freeing. Not yet. Still, I’m glad I was able to make it. I really needed it, and everyone was there for me.

February and March were a blur. This was the toughest time, and I barely dressed up two times, once for every month. Mostly to test some new clothes and make sure I didn’t completely lose touch with the craft. It was lonely, sitting at home, looking out at the snow falling, and wondering if my sparkle would ever return. I tested out a few outfits on… But it was just… practice. An empty gesture.

Springing Back Up

The turning point came in April, when I finally received the gift I’d been dreaming of for years.

Princess Lolita. Not just any dress. The dress. A cascade of cream lace, layered petticoats that could have filled a ballroom, and the pièce de résistance—a massive bonnet adorned with roses and beads that practically ate my face. I paired it with a beautiful flower adorned staff. The moment I unboxed it, I swear, my heart stopped beating for a second.

I slipped into it. And the magic returned. It felt just as right, just as perfect, as I’d imagined. For weeks, all I did was prepare. I practiced poses, how to walk in it, learned how to sit without ruining the layers, and dreamed of the photo shoot.

But I couldn’t do it yet. The weather in Saint Petersburg was being cruel, refusing to warm up properly. So instead of getting a proper photo shoot done, I used that energy to reconnect.

April became a month of friendship. My local friends and I started meeting again, sometimes two or three times a week! We’d talk, we’d joke, we’d do small photoshoots. The loneliness receded. I felt like myself again—snarky, sarcastic, and utterly alive. My friends helped pull me out of my slump, reminding me who I was meant to be.

And then, in late May, the moment arrived. Tulip season at a nearby park.

It was perfect. The tulips were in full, vibrant bloom. The air was cool. No direct sunlight was hitting us. The weather cooperated beautifully, allowing us to capture everything without the harsh shadows or sweating mess we usually endure. I wore my new Princess Lolita gown. We spent the entire morning there, capturing images that looked straight out of a fairytale.

Looking back at those photos, they are stunning. I am stunning.

Though, not everything was frills and roses (pun intended). While these pictures don’t show this due a sheer volume of the dress and skill of a photographer… After all the stress, the depression, and the comfort eating from earlier in the year… I had packed on some serious kilos. It wasn’t showing on these photos, but was clear as day on others. On myself. Every time I saw my reflection, I’d wince.

So, I made a choice.

For the summer, the goal was simple: get my body back. No more hiding, no more letting my mind win over my physical form. It was a new challenge, and I was ready. Diet, exercise, discipline. It would be tough, but what’s a doll’s life without a bit of hard work?

Coming Out in Summer

Summer hit, and it brought the energy we all craved. In early June, we gathered again. This time it wasn’t a massive convention, but a smaller, cozier meetup just outside of Saint-Petersburg. Less crowded, more private, and infinitely more… eventful.

We played in our PVC and latex suits, letting the summer heat make everything slick and uncomfortable in the most wonderful way. I walked around the cottage in petplay like a doggie on a leash, just for fun. My knees were hurting like hell, but it was worth it. Of course I’ve brought my princess dress and played a lost doll arrived in a wrong fairy tale. The roleplaying was amazing! And let’s not forget a kebab ArkStranger suddenly decided to cook for us. A delicious, chaotic, greasy masterpiece.

But the biggest development of the summer came when I invested in a steady-cam for my phone. Suddenly, the whole world was an opportunity. Walking through the city became an expedition.

We’d venture out together, recording our adventures. These walks became my new favorite obsession. We’d wander the streets of Saint-Petersburg, not too far yet, only visiting safe and known locations, but still it was a blast! Walking together, doing silly things, waiving at passersby, and recording it all so that we can watch it later with proper eyesight. It’s pure, unadulterated joy.

One particularly memorable day, I insisted on a walk during a heavy rainstorm. We got absolutely soaked. It was exhilarating. The city looked so different—all dark colors, glistening wet streets, and the sound of raindrops was just… everything. The videos we shot that day are some of my absolute favorites. The aesthetic was incredible.

Though, let me tell you a small secret. I had to replace all the audio. Completely.

My phone’s mic, being exposed to the rain, eventually got so wet it sounded like it was placed directly at the bottom of a swimming pool. All I got were weird, garbled, bubbling sounds that made no sense whatsoever. It was hilarious in its own right, but in the end, I just muted the footage and put over some proper pleasant rain sounds. Don’t tell anyone though!

Conquering the streets in Autumn

2025: The Year of Reclaiming Myself (Part 4)

Autumn brought a new kind of excitement. In September, I went to our local anime-con. Not as a participant, not as an observer, but as one of the main attractions. I walked in as Makima.

And holy hell, was the timing right.

It was literally one week after the new Chainsaw Man movie came out, and the world was absolutely obsessed. People recognized me from a block away. It was non-stop photos. Selfies, group photos, pictures with other Denji, Power, Aki and other Makima cosplayers. We were a pack, a family. It was chaotic, loud, and the absolute peak of cosplay fandom energy. For a whole weekend, I wasn’t just me; I was Makima. It was intoxicating.

September also mark the end of my weight losing endeavor. It was hard, not gonna lie. But I’ve managed to reach my goal and lose 12% of body weight. And I’m still holding it!

But the real test came in October.

I decided it was time to cut the apron strings. Time to go it alone. First step was easy. Just walking around my neighborhood, late at night. No crowds, no pressure. It felt liberating. But soon, that wasn’t enough.

One crisp autumn evening, I ventured into the very heart of the tourist trap—the historical center. I felt powerful, untouchable. And then I learned a harsh lesson: not everyone out there has your best interests at heart.

I ran into a pair of “street photographers,” very friendly and professional-sounding at first. They offered to take my pictures for free, and if I liked it, I could buy a photo for a “small donation.” Sounds harmless, right?

Wrong. I posed for a few shots. When they showed them to me, they were terrible. Out of focus, bad angles, clearly rushed. Yes, they gave those to me as promised. But I didn’t liked it a bit, but they became insistent that I pay them a fee for the “service”. And you know, as a kigu doll, I can’t exactly say “No”. Not verbally at least. So it was hard to properly argue my point. Thank God I don’t carry a lot of cash on these trips! I gave them like a 1000 rubles and ran away from them as fast as I could. Never again. Learn the lesson!

And then came my most ambitious solo trip: a trip to the suburbs. Specifically an eco trail. The plan was simple. Walk to a bus stop, take a bus ride to a nice park I’d seen pictures of. The walk to the park was wonderful. Quiet, peaceful. A perfect solo stroll. The nearby autumn beach was geat as well, especially since it was a sunset. The scenery was breathtaking.

The trouble started on the way home. I was tired. I underestimated how busy the bus routes would be. I hopped onto an already packed bus.

The heat, the swaying, the smell… my stomach twisted. And I started to feel… queasy. My mask started to feel heavy. Too tight. I thought I was going to throw up right into the thing. I spent the entire 2 hour ride clenching my jaw, trying to breathe through my nose, and praying I wouldn’t ruin one of my most prized possessions with the contents of my own stomach.

When I finally stumbled out of the bus and got home, the first thing I did was rip that damn thing off and collapse. It was disgusting and horrifying.

But I made it. I faced my fears, I took my risks, and I came out on the other side with stories to tell. The thrill was real, and I was alive. More alive than ever.

November Trip and the End of the Year

November was supposed to be another fun trip, but turned into a rescue mission. The Toguchi-con in Moscow… my god. To clarify some thing: inside our Russian kigu community, we have a group of kigus, who want to promote us at amongst normies. “Better we say what we want about ourselves, than someone else does”. I think they have a good point, but I’ve politely declined proper participation in their activities for personal reasons. Anyway, they’ve decided to make a booth at Toguchi-con, with Hika, Sonya and Mary leading the charge. I’ve decided to attend con as just a guest and visit their booth when I was feeling like it.

But… Everything went awry immediately when we arrived to Moscow.

Among the arrivals to our group was a very special guest: Akane-san. A kigu from Germany, making the trek across the continent at a time when that journey is… complicated, to say the least. And right from the chaos of the airport, they arrived into the chaos we all faced. We spent 3 days to try and find an apartment for them, Hika and Ness to stay at, and every next option was worse than the previous one. Ruined and smelly rooms, horny dudes, arriving at literal brothel… It was a total trainwreck. Luckily for me, Alisa got us two a proper flat, and we just took Akane with us, with Hika and Ness staying at other’s places.

Yet, it was far from over!

Mary, who was their main organizer, got sick, and with logistics changed last minute, I had to step in. Move things around. Entertain our quest. To be fair, I’m not complaining! This was the time my friends needed help, and I was glad to provide it! I’ve helped Akane with their suit, carried stuff, calmed down people. Whatever was needed.

The event itself went fine. Bit more hectic than I like, but still very much enjoyable. I met many of cool and funny cosplayers, took a group photo with lolitas. The list goes on. Still have to white a proper post about this too. Kamisama, please give me time!

Anyways, after the con I did some more meetups and then headed back home to Saint-Petersburg. The end of the year was about recovering and preparing for the new year. A perfect time to introduce a new face!

The first event was our annual trip to the Doll Fair with my two closest friends. It’s always a pleasure. I like going to anime-cons, but this place feels different. More… peaceful. We don’t need to perform. We just… exist. Admire the craftsmanship of others and appreciate each other.

Then came the first snowfall. Oh, I love it. Everything goes quiet and clean. I spent a whole afternoon wandering the parks, taking videos of myself among the bare trees and fresh powder. One video was a personal favorite: I found an old bench and just… sat. Completely still. No talking. No moving. I became a statue. A doll. Lost. Waiting. For 15 minutes, I held that pose. I recorded it just to see what it would feel like to truly become a thing in the world, not a person acting like one.

Finally, to cap it all off, a meetup in December where I unveiled my newest project. My Shimakaze mask is… almost ready.

She wasn’t a planned child actually. I was strong-handed into getting her since I had her cosplay lying around. Again, I’ll write a proper post about her later, since she isn’t finished yet. But now I have 3 masks (actually 4, but I’ll talk about it the next post).

So, there it is. My year.

It started with the grey, suffocating fog of personal issues. A doll, lost and forgotten. I thought my sparkle might be gone for good.

But this year… I fought back. I reconnected. I took risks. I went solo. I faced chaos, scammers, and health issues. I helped friends. I laughed until my sides hurt. I explored my city with a new set of eyes and made memories I will treasure forever.

I’m not perfect. Far from it. My masks give me headaches. I still dance like I’ve got two left feet. I can be a cruel bitch if you push the right buttons. But I am mine.

And 2026? That’s for my next post. I have a few commitments I want to take, like making this website live, and I can’t wait to get started. The doll has something to say.

Happy New Year, you lucky bastards.

Yours, Ellachlor